Target is trying to ruin my life.
I bought a pair of white knee high socks for my halloween costume yesterday. I tried them on- one sock goes up to my knee… one sock goes up to mid calf. WTF TARGET SOCKS. I don’t walk with a massive limp so i know it’s you, not me. someone from UMD must have designed them.
NEWS FLASH- UofM TRYING TO KILL ALL STUDENTS.
Good evening - A reported chemical spill in the Phillips Wangensteen Building on the East Bank has resulted in the building being closed. Harvard St. SE has also been closed because if anyone goes near it they will die instantly. People are urged to stay away from the vicinity as the HAZMAT crews who are attempting to assess the situation have all exploded. Thank you for your cooperation.
Anonymous asked: i miss youuu
(i emptied a carton of strawberries on to a plate)
geena- are you going to eat ALL of those strawberries?
me- no, i'm just putting them on a plate because they're wet.
15 minutes later, i ate all the strawberries.
fatalfemm asked: How can I send you pictures?? I have a few on my phone you may appreciate. And by appreciate I mean, be disgusted by.
aerodynamite asked: I think everyone should follow your BF anyway, even without anything on his blog. It's creepier and more hilarious that way.
periodfarts asked: I WENT TO LOOK AT YOUR BOYFRIENDS TUMBLR. NO POSTS. NO PHOTOS. NO VIDEOS. NO QUOTES. NOTHING. NOT EVEN A PROFILE PICTURE. WTF LAUREN? I REPEAT.... what.. the.. fuck..
Frat boy is wearing a frat winter coat. It’s 65 degrees outside.
Anonymous asked: Do you have a favorite episode of Spongebob? I personally love the Krusty Krab training video.
one hand on my computer mouse,
the other in a bag of cheese balls. looks like i’m trapped.
fuck you, you and you.
you- the asian guy who paid in DIMES AND NICKELS. fucking change. no quarters, no fifty cent pieces were near… just dimes. I was tapping my nails on the counter from just being so annoyed. and it wasn’t just like, oh yeah here’s some change bam bam bam counted done. it was like, one… two… three…. there’s 10. *pile!* one…. two…. I was seriously...
So don’t steal from work- because now they know… Back then they...– Thanks, mom.
last night I was at a party and this skinny sheep haired boy looks at me and is all, “who are you?” and I told him and he said “OH, woah your hair is really different from the last time I saw you.” I recently got my hair cut, so i asked him if he liked it- he said no. he said he doesn’t like bangs. so i replied, “listen justin timberlake, if i wanted hair...
Anonymous asked: How do you do makeup properly? I still haven't figured this out yet.
I just saw the face of E.T. in my cocoa puffs.
he must be real. that’s the thought process for the jesus-toast people, right? ALL PRAISE E.T. the extra chocolaty extra terrestrial.
Guy in class just picked something off of his shirt and ate it.– Devan, Duluth update.
There is a man who sits in front of my in my first class every MWF. And every single time he’s wearing some piece of bright purple clothing with some Greek letters on it. Let me start a list for you of what he has worn Purple frat sweatshirt Purple frat letter jacket (yes I guess it’s possible to letter in beer pong, and being a douche.) Hideous yellow beanie hat with purple...
I’m 20 years old and I just figured out how to do my makeup properly. sweet.
so i worked until midnight tonight and i am very sleepy. i bought one of those in-packet facial masks that is suppose to be detoxifying or something. i don’t think it’ll do much but, it was fun in 7th grade so it’ll be fun after a long night of work. so here i am with my face completely slathered in shiny green cucumber scented goop and my boyfriend texts me. “i left my...
Two obese homebodies sitting behind me in class discussing what “lol cat” caption to put on a picture of their cat.
I hate when I press “like” on a comment someone makes on facebook, then they send me a friend request. just because I gave you the smallest possible amount of positive feedback doesn’t mean I like you as a person. denied. UPDATE- i actually know the person. oops. sorry.
STORY TIME! DULUTH EDITION.
this story brought to you by my friend devan. Aight, so, I was getting out of my car. Some high school flatbill mouthbreathers were walking up to their rusty Cavalier, which was parked beside me. For some reason my 25 year old rusty BMW attracts attention, and prompted one of them to say “badass car, bro.” I replied with “ha, this shitpile?” ”Yeah.”...
Anonymous asked: What are your favorite places to buy clothes?
Anonymous asked: Do you like this video since you also hate bros and think they're douches?
Anonymous asked: What are you gonna be for Halloween! something good i hope :D