laurenapolis

has been a good one for my blog.

DEEEEEEELICIOUS!!

  If you check out that receipt, my roommate ordered a “DOG” as in a hot dog! With onions, and ketchup! BUT WHAT’S THAT ON THE CORNER? what luck! FREE CHEESE ON THE RECEIPT! what a deal!

  Thanks Five Guys! You are really generous, I thought the free peanuts was where the perks end… BUT HEY-OHHHHHH. You’re just giving away the handouts.

  MMMMMM. 

       keep on bein’ delicious.

lauren

HEY EVeRy0nE!!

I just discovered the best band I have EVER heard. They’re super new, and really cool. You should check them out whenever you feel like being cool and doing some music research. Their music might be kind of hard to find, as they’re really indie. But maybe check out their myspace! I think they have one.

Also, this band is ULTRA C00L because the main guy is from Minnesota! Represent your local music! YEAH!

Yeah so anyhow the band is called Owl City!!!!! You should check out their song “fireflies” it is so original and cool! I heard that the band The Postal Service totally ripped off all their music and their style though, so UnC0oL of them! UGH! When are bands going to stop copying each other and get some original sound? AMiRITE? Ya!

Anyhow yeah check them out, I am sure I am the first person to like them! K? K!

p.s. I cannot sign my name until I apologize. That really hurt me to write, please forgive me. Hahaha.

lauren

YEAH! WOO! WOAH! COOL! DUDE! BRO! MAN! DUDE-MAN!

IT’S FINALLY HERE!!!!!

The most spectacular thing since the invention of the toaster, the 100th post spectacular is here. Right in front of you, on your computer screen.  

so, like….. you can all settle down and finally get your Internet party on.

Are you having fun yet? I sure as hell am.

So anyhow, I had several people send in some pictures, and a few write in. I very much enjoyed everything I received, and am thankful for the contributions!

AND! Since you helped me, I am going to help you! SOOOO…. 

NOW, IF EVERYONE LOOKS UNDER THEIR CHAIRS, YOU’RE GETTING A NEW CAR!!!!

Oh, wait this isn’t Oprah or anything close. I looked under my chair though and I found a bobby pin and a piece of tape… SCORE! Maybe that’ll be enough for a new hair tutorial video? WE’LL SEE!

Okay but let’s get on with the event.

Click this link to start the photo party—-

http://tinyurl.com/DFS100thSPECTACULAR

and/or just read below for the text portion! 

Party on,

lauren

——-

Lauren, to be frank, I read your blog for my own personal self-affirmation. I used to love Duluth, I had many a fond memory traveling through the city on the way to my grandparent’s cabin in Lutsen. It’s kind of pretty. However, collectively, I probably spent about 10 hours of my life there, that is, until I began to date my (ex)boyfriend who now attends that hell hole of a “school”. I visited frequently my senior year (even once took a greyhound from Madison…bad idea)  I enjoy reading your blog. But I am saddened to know that you live in DUHHHHH-LUTH, one of the shittiest cities in America.

I commend you for transferring to the U of M, I hope you have a bomb-dig time in Minneapolis, it’s way cool.

Peace, love, beer, bros,

A pickle loving friend.

———

Lauren,

I would like to take time out of my busy day of watching Twins baseball and wondering if a scientist has ever done an experiment on why Duluth weather fluxuates (yea i spelled that wrong so what, it looks cooler with an X anyway) so frequently and to the general disdain of the students who like to wear the gym shorts they slept in to class (myself) to say congratulations on the blog running for so long. I must admit that I do take time out of playing Mafia Wars and posting unnecessarily long Facebook posts on my friends walls to compensate for not being able to text ( :’( ) to stop at your page and read the happenings of the awkward and annoying that roam the halls at UMD almost every day. I too notice lots of this stuff, but I just leave it to you to blast them. I must say thank you (except you were kinda mean to my friend Jenny, but I mean people make their own choices) for bringing online justice to these damn fools who overcompensate for being extremely intimidated and lonely at college (the people who dress weird or don’t shower, that is hardly their problem) by augmenting their ego to block their brain. Please continue, and even though you are going to the U, I am 100% positive that you will find doofuses at that campus too, so you should PROBABLY continue to blog if you still want the Sam Scheller KUMD Stamp Of Approval (but not over the summer cuz lets be real, is there ANYTHING wrong with summer?) but keep the name so i don’t forget about it. If the stars align in the near future, I would highly enjoy going to OCB with you and mocking the Wal-Mart after party that is that restaurant’s business model. Be well, and keep up the entertainment!

Thanks,

Sam Scheller

——-

Ahem,

To the person who replies via Tumblr to duluthfuckingsucks:

You forgot to break down the rest of the post! But I’ll just cover what you said. That’s fine with me.

So what you were saying in the first section is that you have never made a comment about someone, anything about them, ever. Have you? I think you have, that’s the beauty of psychology! We do it all the time! But its really

funny when its put online for people to read. Also what would it matter if she was a comedian? See…you just did it without thinking about it. I’ll paraphrase something that probably went through your mind, “man, who does she think she is? Voicing her opinions when she should be studying! That’s really different than how I perceive this school.” Oh crap, I just pointed out what you were against! Sorry! Well, lets move on then…

At what point is any of the material in the blog hate speech? Saying, “wow, that guy really smells like salami” isn’t hate speech at all. Or commenting that how some girls wear their hair is REALLY UGLY is not hate speech. And now onto your comment of free speech, THIS IS ALL PART OF THAT AMENDMENT. Wow, my caps lock must have been stuck.

Now let me end with one final question. Does her blog end with .edu? Didn’t think so. That’s that whole thing about it NOT BEING AFFILIATED AT ALL WITH UMD ACADEMICS. Really have to get that caps lock fixed…anyway, if you don’t want to read it, don’t. If you don’t want to see anything that’s like it, ever, then I would stay on the UMD website. Let me warn you though, and its a secret, their search is powered by Google, so watch out, you might come across other things that you might find offending.

Good luck having a sense of humor in the future! =)

Mitch

——-

www.shitmydadsays.com

 ——-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dERZjJ9anbc
——-

“When we were alone he should whisper sweet nothings into my Weeny.”

——-

The title should be the whole post. But just in case you need some convincing-

   ….So here I am, just cruisin’ along at a steady 75 miles an hour (over the speed limit mind you) down highway 35. I had my sock monkey slippers on, listening to my ipod on shuffle, just trying to get through the boring drive. But then, I look in my rear view mirror, and notice the car behind me is flashing their brights at me. I moved over a lane. And just before I could finish my thought process about how much of a dick this person must be, I glance over at the oldest two people I have ever seen operating a car, EVER. They must have been in a hurry to get to their daily hang out spot in the hospital parking lot, or cemetary as those are the only two places someone THAT old should safely be planning on heading. But anyhow, just to make things a little worse, as they zoomed past in their oldsmobile or whatever, they had an electric powerchair strapped on like a bike rack type thing hanging from their trunk. So, instead of thinking of how annoying he was for flicking his brights at me, I just thought of how his 15 pound orthopedic shoe is probably just too heavy to lift off the gas for him, poor guy.

   In addition to getting blinded, other highlights included; playing the guess-what-that-roadkill-once-was game, eating enough sour brite crawlers to fill a kiddie pool, and just basically dreading the fact that I was driving up to Dull-uth. (see what I did there? Dull? get it? Yeah, laugh as much as you want.) 

       So now I’m back from Minneapolis, SIGH! Spring jam was…. Interesting. I think my favorite part was seeing a boy I had a crush on in 6th. grade stumbling down the sidewalk saying into his phone, “…Yeah, and then I fell off a cliff, I mean curb.” I wouldn’t have been surprised if a minute later he started to talk into the beer can he was clutching.

 Okay! well that’s it for this post, you can leave.

lauren

Wearing sweatpants to class!!!!! WOOO!!!

Now, if I could only find my Uggs. WAIT, that’s right- I don’t own any. I’ll just have to settle for wearing these badass shoes I bought at Savers for $2.50-

He knows what’s up.

Happy Thursday y’all.

lauren

Sarcasm and all jokes aside-

To the person who has been sending me messages through Tumblr, please pull me aside at school and talk to me if you have so much to say.

You obviously know who I am, as you have mentioned the kind of shoes I wear twice now in your messages, where I have not shared that information about myself online. 

I am sorry that you think my blog is “offensive to the school and community, and is not acceptable” but really, your messages are getting too personal.  I am asking that you stop sending them.

sincerely, 

lauren.

OH YEAH, YOU READ THAT TITLE CORRECT-

 100TH POST S P E C T A C U L A R !

Remember this email address —- emailfingsucks@gmail.com You’ll need it later!

I can’t believe my blog has made it this far, I never thought people would actually read it. SO! To thank everyone who takes the time to check it out, I want to do something more personal to the “fans”. Hell, I guess I am just curious who you are.

So that’s where I am going to ask for your help!

If you could take a minute, and send me an email of LITERALLY ANYTHING YOU WANT, I will use it somehow in my 100th post! I promise.

Everything I get will be used.

Please no dick pix.

Unless that’s all you’re willing to send, just don’t be offended if I draw on it with photoshop before putting it online.

Yeah, so, if you are lacking ideas of what to send please visit the INSPIRATION AREA of this blog.

I hope to hear from some of you soon!!! 

lauren

INSPIRATION AREA!

Don’t be greedy, that’s all the inspiration you should need. 

GET SENDIN! 

emailfingsucks@gmail.com 

“Anonymous” sent-

“One day you will grow up and learn it’s the insecurities about yourself that cause you to be so sarcastic and bitter. Start to care about the ones that surround you. We are all just people, and you are no different. Rip on all the goofs that wear Uggs, sweatpants, and crazy hair, its a little bit funny. Yet what pedestal are you on? Take a look at yourself girl, then take a look around. You’re not the only one who has “good” taste in music, side swooped bangs, toms shoes, white v-neck tees and who can manage to take some indie photo of it all at the same time. It doesn’t make you some edgy individual who understands the meaning of life. Be nice, and go read a book.”

—-

Well Anonymous, thank you very much for writing in! It makes me happy that you cared enough to take some time out of your day to share an opinion on why you think I write my blog, and further how I can improve myself as a person. :)

In order to give your heartfelt message the attention it deserves, I have decided to break it down into seven equally important parts and address them separately. 

Eh-HEM. Here we go!

1. “One day you will grow up and learn it’s the insecurities about yourself that cause you to be so sarcastic and bitter.”
   I know I have stated this before, but this blog is simply for entertainment purposes. I am a sarcastic person, because that’s how I am… I don’t have any hidden internal struggles that cause me to point out flaws in other people. 
   I am sorry that you were bullied when you were younger, I am assuming you were- as that is where the whole “Bullies just make fun of people when they are uncomfortable with themselves” thing started. But the day that you grow up and learn that some people just find sarcasm funny, I will welcome you back to read more of my posts.
2. “Start to care about the ones that surround you. We are all just people, and you are no different.”
   You’re right we’re all different! But we all smile in the same language! LOL! :] :) :D =] 8) smileysmileysmiley :P <(‘o’<) Kirby? get out of here! You’re not a smiley!
3. “Rip on all the goofs that wear Uggs, sweatpants, and crazy hair, its a little bit funny.”
   Deal, and thank you.
4. “Yet what pedestal are you on? Take a look at yourself girl, then take a look around.”
   Funny you should ask! It’s actually not a pedestal, although I could see where you would be confused- I am pretty tall. √ and √ 
5. “You’re not the only one who has “good” taste in music, side swooped bangs, toms shoes, white v-neck tees and who can manage to take some indie photo of it all at the same time.”
   Yep, I have all of those things. What’s your point? Does this even have ANYTHING to do with my blog anymore? But to address it, duh. Question though, what constitutes as an “indie photo”? I “managed” to have my photo taken because my boyfriend knows how to operate my phone and took one of me outside of the bakery, and OCB- preeeeeeeeetty rough stuff. OOPS wait, you don’t like my sarcasm. I’m sorry, it was easy.
6. “It doesn’t make you some edgy individual who understands the meaning of life.”
   I’m not edgy at all. I mean come on, I cry every time I watch Teen Mom on MTV, and the mom sees her baby for the first time… I sleep with stuffed animals. (SHOUT OUT TO POOH BEAR! SEE YOU TONIGHT!) I brush my teeth every day, I wait until the white (not a racist comment) walking man lights up on the street light to cross the street, I do my homework.
   Sure, I have a tattoo and piercings, and just HAPPEN to be listening to The Acacia Strain right now, but that’s just a part of me.
   I don’t know what life means, and I never said I do. I just discuss what I see. 
7. “Be nice, and go read a book.”
   I think you may be interested in the delightful counter-blog www.duluthfuckingrocks.tumblr.com for “nice” as that is not the intent of this blog.
   And finally, no thank you- I don’t like to read. But if you wrote a book about self-help I would pick that up IMMEDIATELY because you are the most inspirational writer I have ever been lucky enough to come across. 

OOPS SARCASM, AGAIN!  

Well, that’s all. I feel like my reply was fair and informative! Hope it helped! 

the most perfect indie girl in the whole world,

lauren.